Why Lie? That was rhetorical. There are too many reasons to even try to explain. *Some lie to save the lives of millions across the world. *Some lie to find cures for incurable disease or end world hunger... many people would have you think that. Those explanations for the lies > are lies themselves. Most lies are to cover up another lie.
As far as I know, we lie most of the time for 2 reasons:
#1- To make ourselves look better than we perceive ourselves [whether consciously or unconsciously]. Either by exaggerating the truth Or a straight out lie. Ever known a habitual liar who lies for absolutely no reason at all, just to say something? Anything you say, they've either done or knows a great story about someone who's done the same thing or better. They tell on themselves sometimes by giving unnecessary information. Lying to them is as addicting as cocaine is to a coke-head.
#2- Is to avoid consequences that we believe are the effects of the truth. We ALL have lied at some point, most for this very reason. Anyone who says otherwise... is lying to cover up a past lie(s).
The first justification for lying is easy for most to fix > Stop being around people who you think you need to lie to for their approval. Or it may be because of self esteem issues and that's another issue.
The 2nd reason of lying, I think, is the most common reason why ANYone would lie: To avoid the effects of the truth...
There were benefits of growing up an only child but one of them was not being a convincing liar. As a kid, when the sweet potato pie my mom made in the fridge had a long finger mark to get a taste, It was kinda hard to convince mom that I didn't know where the finger print mark came from. I feared getting popped or scolded, so I lied and tried to give her an innocent face while saying "I dunno what happened!"
I feared the effects of my lie. I knew Mom wasn't playing that, and that I'd be at the least told I wasn't gonna have any more pie. At the worst, I may be put on punishment for doing what I did > But worst for lying about it. The older I grew, the more I realized that it was often better to tell the truth in the first place than to be caught in a lie. The effects of getting caught in a fib could be devastating.
So I learned to take on a lie like I was preparing for an acting role [which is why I think I'd be a good actor]. To be honest with you, I became an expert liar [oxymoron, if I ever heard one]. I learned that I had to believe the lie I was telling so much that I could even convince myself. You have to trick yourself into believing the lie in order to trick others. I had to know unnecessary details of the scenario for my own proof, because you never knew what questions would come when someone was trying to prove you were lying.
"What were you doing?"; "What time of day was it?"; "Who was there?"; "What color was the leaves on the trees beside his house you were at?" >> Anything could be asked when someone is trying to disprove something you've said. So to be prepared, I learned to have specific details about whatever it is I was telling the lie about. I became an observant individual before I was sent to Iraq and had to be observant to save my own life.
That's what real liars do. They have details that seemingly make the lie seem official. Many have been lying for so long, they can answer any question thrown at them with such fluent answers that you almost are forced to believe them. In the movies, they say that a liar can be pointed out because they look up before they answer a question. I know that to be false because I do that, and I don't lie... anymore. Other than the fact I stutter, so I have to get my sentence straight in my own mind before I can convince others of what I'm saying.
But we grow and we learn, and hopefully we mature. We learn over time that there is less to be afraid of than we thought as a child. We also realize there are things to be afraid of, that we weren't aware of before. So when a person lies they're either afflicted with reason #1, or they're still weary of the consequences of the truth.
But lies do more than deceive the person they're told to. They also can deceive the person who's telling them > When a 5'3" woman who weighs in at 300 plus pounds keeps telling herself that she's not overweight, she's just Big-boned, she's only hurting herself with that lie. She been told the truth, that beauty comes from within. So often times, she runs [or wobbles] with that information and tells herself that she can be as heavy as she is, but as long as she's a good person that she'll be alright. Spiritually and mentally, she's right. Physically, she's far from being honest to herself. When she can't walk up 4 steps without losing breath, then she needs to realize that she has a problem. There's a reason that the United States is one of, if not the fattest country in the world. Because of all the specials that overflow our fast food spots and also from the fact that so many lie to themselves about their weight problem.
That alone is the biggest issue for people, as far as I see it > Lying to ourselves, to justify our own behavior. We wanna tell ourselves that we do what we do for every reason under the sun, and we may be right. We may have been raised in a hostile environment which leads to the way we act today. But there has to be a time, when we take account for our own actions. And a time to when we realize that we have an anger problem. It may of come from our parents or our surroundings growing up, but we can never change without being 100% honest with ourselves.
I know a person who will openly tell another that they never admit when they're wrong. Yet they seem to think they're not arrogant and stubborn. My senses start tingling when I hear that, thinking to myself "How can it NOT be stubbornness if a person can' admit when they're wrong? What else is it called?"
YOU CAN'T FIX A PROBLEM IF YOU CAN'T ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE! You can't convince a child that they're grades aren't good if they can't admit that a 'D' is a bad grade. Yea, it's passing, but at the lowest possible level before failing.
It would be unfair to try and point out other's issues without pointing one of my own, right? Okay... Well, I'm a PROCRASTINATOR to the fullest. I hesitated on writing this blog alone for quite some time. I procrastinated about going onstage to try and tell jokes for fear of my stuttering. I procrastinated on stopping smoking cigarettes most of my life [I've been smoking since I was 16... maybe 15]. I've had a book that I've been writing for 3 years that I've procrastinated on finishing. I've held off going to college, which will cause me to be a 33 years old freshman in college soon. Procrastination is my biggest flaw that is the umbrella over top so many other issues I have till this day. I realize that I have this problem, thus I can make adjustments accordingly. Even still, after the admission of the truth, it still may take a while to start physically act upon that new found revelation.
I have no problem of not lying to impress others, I have very few friends because of that reason. I do suffer from the lie to myself at times that allows me to keep on the path that I may know is the wrong path to take. I pray for guidance everyday on the matter. And just like a junkie, I may struggle with that truth for as long as I live. The truth that I have a major issue I need to adjust in order to be the man I aim to be... But I'm far from the only one. Many others have many other issues that need to be taken into account. To be honest, no issue is greater or less of an issue than the next [unless it causes harm to another]. Until we can BE HONEST with ourselves and say exactly what the issue is, IT WILL NEVER BE FIXED...
BUT I'm no scientist or genius,,, That's only what my COMMON SENSE tells me!
